The absurdity of it all
I pride myself on being (some-what of) a free thinker. I’ve dabbled in Existensionalism1, Religion2, and Fatalism3; but I always return to one style of thinking – Absurdism.
Absurdism is…
…a philosophy stating that the efforts of humanity to find meaning in the universe will ultimately fail because no such meaning exists (at least in relation to humanity).4
There is, of course, more to it than that but here I will try to explain my own experiences with the absurdities of life.
I came to the unfortunate conclusion that life is absurd during one of my (then) frequent bounts of depression5. Before, I’d always put this down to manic depression6. I’d be on top of the world, quickly followed by a period of intense guilt7 and self-loathing8. But this time was different; I sat there, having not eaten properly for about three days, and thought “What the fuck am I doing? This is absurd”.
A few days later, I stumbled upon the wikipedia article explaining absurdism and, suddenly, it all made sense. I realised I’d always been an absurdist, just without realising. From then on, my whole outlook changed; as the lead article mentions…
Henceforth, the absurd hero’s refusal to hope becomes his singular ability to live in the present with passion, forever responsible but never guilty.
So I now do appreciate the absurdity of life, but I’ve taken it to an extreme that may not be covered by it. I now view most (not all) social interaction as absurd; if you flirt with a girl, you know why you do it, she knows why you do it, but you don’t ever speak about doing it. When you do, people become uncomfortable and sometimes react badly to this, which can be unfortunate.
Where this path of thinking will lead me, I don’t know, but I’m sure when I get there I’ll be able to see how absurd the conclusion is.
References & Footnotes
